Paradise
Hotel Recap Episode 18
Week 10, Wednesday 08-20-03 Hotel
Paradizzle.
The beginning of the end.
First
off I must say that compared to the lackluster Monday
episode
that Wednesday’s Paradise Hotel
was actually pretty good. Hokey at times, but very entertaining.
It
also marks a shift for the series as it will now be
winding down
to a competition among the remaining
guests. That’s right – no new guests after
one gal gets evicted in tonights' episode.
OK, time to summarize Episode 18.
Undramatic Voice Over Gal
“Due
to some sexual content, viewer discretion is advised.”
OK.... that means get ready for some pixelation.
Dramatic Voice Over Guy
Previously on Paradise Hotel
Amy says she is emotional.
With her closest friends Zack, Toni and now Beau gone
Amy struggled to survive.
Meanwhile Keith continued to work his charms on Charla
and Tara.
Desiree was chosen and broke the ice by throwing a sexy
VIP party where the guests ran wild.
Desiree chose Tom to be her roommate.
And
then the guests received a surprising announcement. They must pick a king and queen to reign over paradise.
Episode begins.
Keith
and Charla are flirting again in the bathroom. Keith
spanks
Charla’s butt as she leaves.
Right
on dude. That’s the spirit!
Dave
spews on about Charla again. The same footage as from
the
previous episode. She’s the most beautiful
person here, 100% trust blah blah blah.
Scott
says the king and queen will have some kind of power.
What
kind of power we don’t know quite yet.
Who will be the king and queen. The guests have to nominate
for the titles. Dave is campaigning already.
We see the guests stuffing ballots in the box. Their
nominations.
Dave and Alex get nominated for the guys. And Tara and
Amy are nominated for the gals.
A day of campaigning ensues. Smokey gets a blotel necklace.
OK. Monkey in the spotlight again. It must make him some
sort if semi official guest or something. I just wanna
know when are they going to skewer Smokey like a shiskaboob.
A competition follows. A swimsuit contest among the
4. Dave, Alex, Tara and Amy compete.
Alex up first and he has a cantaloupe stuffed in his
trunks. He prances around. Alex thinks he is so cool
and funny, but does it translate into points from the
judges?
Out
comes an oddball costume. It’s Amy and she
looks like some kind of space alien made up in tin foil
and bad makeup. Cones around her boob area. It might
have looked good on one of the other babes but on Amy
it looked more like a joke.
Tara
blows out like in a Victoria’s Secret ad.
She strips out of her sheer gown to reveal her bikini
clad body. Hot and sexy. Strutting in her high heels.
Nice booty. A real professional.
Dave
is up last. Will the judges take points off for his
manboobs?
He does some kind of hip hop paradizzle
strip routine. He’s an east coast gangster. Pale
Dave sucked in his gut and did a commedible performance.
You’d think they’d
just vote at this point and get it over with but no....
They have more campaigning. And then they will have
a debate.
Finally
a Q & A session/debate. Dave and Alex and
Tara and Amy get some questions from the other non-nominated
guests who include Holly, Charla, Keith, Tom and Scott.
The candidates each make phoney campaign promises. Alex
gets confronted on his cheating.
Commercial
Break – of course.
We’re back and Keith asks Alex if he knew about
some cheating on casino night. He answers yes but tries
to worm out of it saying it didn’t stop from taking
the dirty money.
Kristin
tries to embarrass Dave by asking him how his “childish” ways
would affect his being king. That was a low blow Kristin.
Not a good idea to embarrass a potential king of paradise.
Dave fields the question admirably.
Now the final campaign pitches.
Alex
gives Desiree a chart to hold. The fun chart. He proposes
that he will bring up the fun factor to “scary
fun”. Flashbacks ensue.
Dave
commends Alex on a good presentation but says he can’t
agree with Alex. He brings up trust and respect.
Alex
asks Tara about giving Dave the money to send Beau
home.
Tara said she didn’t know who Dave was going
to send home.
Keith confronts Amy about having a flashback. Bad Amy
flashbacks ensue.
Tara says she is real and pulls out socks out of her
blouse.
Amy says to just keep it real and have fun. Great pledge
Amy. Keep it real.
The guests vote. Finally. We get to see a few cleavage
shots as the girls bend over to put their votes in the
box.
Suddenly we are at the disco. The Paradizzle Discoteque.
The envelope please.
Amanda announces the queen is Tara. Charla cries. She
is so weird.
Amanda
announces the king is Dave. Mo fake applause. Dave
says let’s
have a great time this week.
Amanda
tells us the king & queen has special privleges
befitting only royalty.
Tara
is safe from elimination. The 2 must choose one of
the five
ladies to check out of Paradizzle tomorrow
night. But until then it’s time fro the disco party
to begin.
Alex
acts like loser and Dave says “not king – loser”.
Charla tries to manipulate Dave by telling him he pledged
he would make it a group decision.
Kristin
begs Tara to spare her and that she’ll
do anything she wants. Is that desperation or what?
Keith
and Charla are under the sheets (wearing their swimsuits
no doubt) and Keith disses Charla by saying
he was going to have a talk with Tara but that he wouldn’t
tell Charla was what it would be.
Another flashback of Zack. Anyone out there want to
start counting how many Zack flashbacks there are in
each episode?
Holly
and Scott are under the sheets. Holly sounds mondo
drunk.
She’s paranoid about being ejected. Scott
plays her and says maybe. Cool move Scott. Work that
self esteem problem Holly has.
Keith and Tara have a moment the next morning. Keith
tells Tara how happy he is for her and they hug tenderly.
That makes Tara very happy.
Kristin
is acting all pissed off with Alex and Amy complaining
about the other guests. She refers to the others as “those
people”. Alex disses every one of the others by
offering how lame each of their lives are. Some negative
karma going on in that room.
Dave
and Tara meet. They congratulate each other on being
the king
and queen of Paradizzle. Dave launches
into a monologue about them both knowing what they want
to do. Tara interrupts and says “I don’t
think you know what I want to do. She tells Dave “I
want Charla gone”. Dave looks horrified and they
break for a commercial or 2 or 3...
We’re
back and they replay that same scene... I want Charla
gone.... pause.... just kidding! They laugh.
Tara pulled that off very well.
Alex is passing round some of that neg karma stuff.
Complaining about Dave the king not taking into consideration
what every body wants. Kind of like the Gray Davis recall
thing. Sour grapes with da government.
Keith
goes to Dave to let him know. Dave plays king and says
I
don’t go to them – let them come
to me.
Alex approaches Dave. Dave takes him head on and says
who do you want to see be gone. Alex insinuates that
Charla should go. Dave dishes it back to Alex and says
he is going to represent the people that voted for me.
We soon see Amy approaching the king and queen. She
tells them that she wants to be taken out that night.
Now...
this is like a dream come true. Amy wants to be ejected.
But Dave and Tara think it “sucks really
bad”.
Soon we have Amanda presenting the king and queen at
the elimination ceremony. But there are a couple of little
surprises.
First
surprise. Dave and Tara will be rooming together. Second.
The
king and queen will decide which of the women
will room with the remaining dudes and that the one woman
left without a roommate will leave Paradise Hotel forever.
(actually they didn’t say forever... they haven’t
been saying forever...)
The
king and queen have 15 minutes to deliberate. At the
end of
their deliberation Dave says “this is
by far the biggest shakeup ever”.
It’s
time to announce the roommate selections.
First couple Tom and Desiree.
Keith and Holly.
Alex and Charla. Charla makes a face.
That
leaves Kristin and Amy. One of them will become Scott’s
roommate. One leaves.
And the roomie will be.... commercial break.
We’re
back.... who will be the roommate and who will leave.
Scott’s
rommie will be... Amy. Arghhhh....
Kristin will be leaving. Amy is pissed. She says that
was supposed to me. She wants out of Blotel Paradizzle.
Dave says he made the decision on behalf of the group.
Amy is upset.
Host
Amanda asks Amy what she is going to do – stay
or go?
Amy
asks if Kristin can stay if she goes but Amanda says
no – the
decision has been made for Kristin to go.
Amy
says “this really f*cking sucks” Foul
mouthed byoch.
Tara
offers to Amy “you’re free to go like
you want”.
They
show a flashback to Dave and Tara’s deliberation
(in black and white) where Tara offers “This will
make her want to walk more and she already wants to go”
Amy is in turmoil. What will she do? Amy says she is
going. Kristin begs her not to go. (I say please Amy
go!)
But
no – Amy will not go. She has decided to stay.
Amy says OK that she’ll try it one more time.
Now
poor Scott is stuck with Amy as a roommate. Time to
say bye bye
to Kristin who actually says a nice goodbye.
Flashbacks. It was all nice but then Kristin says she
can tell Dave and Tara feel like shit. Nawww.... But
we will miss your perfect fake tits (perfect as far as
we can tell in a swimsuit at least – for all we
know it could have been a botched boob job.
 
Kristin offers that they were smart in getting rid of
her.
New
twist – the beginning of the end. No more
new guests will arrive. One step closer to the prize.
Does anyone know what the “prize” is? Breast
Augmentation Surgery. A year of complimentary bikini
waxes. A date with Zack. A special director’s cut
of Paradise Hotel with all the uncut footage of Charla,
Toni and Amy sobbing. Bo hoo.
What
will be the “prize”??? And how will
they eliminate the guests? I reckon we’ll just
have to tune in to find out.
Have
you read the recap for Monday's episode?
Episode 17 recap Monday 8-18-03
Bikini
Day Ranks the Guests of Paradise Hotel Past & Present
Be
sure to bookmark us so you can come back and see
what shit we sling at the Paradise Hotel guests in
episode recaps to come!
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